Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Conversations with some straight women.

I went on to have three conversations with different straight women, mostly because the first two women I talked to had slight conflicts of interest. One was my girlfriend (L.I.), and the other didn't seem to have much to say about the topic (C.C). 

From talking to the first two, I learned a handful of things. They had even more body parts of men that they discussed than P.Y. mentioned. Beards, muscles, body fat, body hair, hands, eyes, penis size, etc, are all discussed from time to time. What I learned is that women will discuss all of these things, just as men will discuss any part of a woman's body, but none of the conversation of any part is recurring enough or strong enough that the women define themselves by their fixation with that one aspect. I also learned that women typically will enjoy something, such as beards, but also will know "ways it can look good or bad." They enjoy "good" beards, but not beards as a category.


After speaking with those two, I spoke with my older sister for quite a while. She is older and has been with more men and in more communities of women, so she had a bit more to say. She finally put a good term on the way that women discuss their attraction: a "comparison of notes," "Oh, you think hands are sexy? For me it's legs!" 

It took a bit of time trying to get a clear picture of the way women define their own sexuality to decide that there isn't quite a clear answer. L.O. pointed out the idea that straight women's sexuality isn't as expressed in their appearance as it is for lesbians, who express their masculinity/femininity in order to attract the opposite sub-orientation. Perhaps this is because among heterosexuals of both genders, the masculine/feminine traits/stereotypes are pretty clear cut. Most men are assumed masculine in relationships and most women are assumed feminine. 

L.O. added, again, that women's tastes also change with partners. They may become attracted to a feature after dating a man with that feature. But it doesn't seem that any guy will ever date a girl and change his mind over whether he prefers "tits" or "ass." Some of the men who are very impassioned about the debate haven't been with many women at all, if any, so their opinions are based in theory rather than practice. 

No comments:

Post a Comment